Suicide .. The one thing I want most in life. To be free from all my pain. I want to escape. I need to escape my mind. I hate myself I hate my guilt I hate how I am a burden on all of my “friends”. Everything seems to be my fault. Everything is my fault. I am so dirty. Such a terrible person I sicken myself. I am such a loser. I fill my nights with tears and screams waking up to the darkness that haunts me. Everyone says I’m sad.. Depressed. But the truth is I am dead. I have nothing to live for. I want it to all go away. Suicide will make it all go away. But will I go to hell? Is that what I deserve? I guess so.. I miss being happy. I miss living. Have I lost myself? I mean is this war over? Or am I just in the middle of another battle tht I’m losing miserably. Suicide a way to leave all my worries, regrets, guilt, problems and tears behind. I think about it everyday. Trying to go through with it often. Only to fail miserably and be left with scars to remind me of my failures. That I am a failure.